I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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