Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize