thus making me awesome and them whores
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
