Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
