i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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