We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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