Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
