have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
