so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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