my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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