He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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