Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
