she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize