Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
