She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize