we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
