He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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