Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
