I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
