Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize