i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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