I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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