he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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