We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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