So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
