Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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