the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
