my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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