So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude. I can hear the air.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize