I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
