That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
