you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
two words...techno handjob
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
