dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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