She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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