maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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