This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
