Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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