so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
