If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
