You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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