Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there was a trapeze. enough said
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
