Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
