Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
