I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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