I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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