Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize