yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize