How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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