Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
