you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
