I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
