no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
