how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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