I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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