The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
