well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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