I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
