You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
