Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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