Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
