Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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