Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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