I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
