I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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